Frequently Asked QuestionsBrowse my FAQs about Emotional Freedom Techniques
Frequently Asked Questions:
I’ve noticed in my work that some people want to get into tapping straight away.
They’ve either seen the difference it has made in someone’s life, or read about it’s extraordinary power to heal fast, and just want to experience it.
For others, there is a need to know the background, history and scientific proof before trying it.
In my FAQs section, I’ve tried to cover both scenarios so that you are confident to proceed, and feeling comfortable doing so.
If your question isn’t answered here, send me a message and I’ll do my best to answer it for you.
It’s safe, gentle and creates a wonderful sense of calm. It works astoundingly well on almost anything you can imagine that gets in the way of leading a happy life:
- emotions like anger, sadness, hurt, disappointment & grief
- physical issues such as insomnia, aching joints, allergies
- fears and phobias such as fear of flying, fear of heights, anxiety phobias
- to those self limiting beliefs that get in the way, like the ‘not good enough’s’
People deal with their pain in different ways.
Sometimes people run, swim, meditate. Others use alcohol, drugs, shopping, over-eating.
EFT is a simple, fast, effective and healthy option to clearing old self limiting beliefs, and negative thoughts which get in the way of happiness.
It depends on your needs, your commitment and my availability an that time. Please contact me if you are interested.
I work on Skype/Google Hangouts, FaceTime and phone.
It works very well over the phone. My job is to ask the right questions, so as long as we can hear each other, it’s the same as you being with me in the same room. In terms of me being able to see how you reacting, I have a finely tuned ear, as with most therapists who work this way, and can hear what’s going on by the change in your voice.
A round of tapping takes around 2 minutes. If that. This is repeated until the problem dissolves. Sometimes one round does the trick, sometimes 10. Sometimes a couple of sessions. It’s certainly one of the fastest techniques I have come across, particularly compared to the more traditional therapies e.g. talk therapy.
You can tap a couple of times a day, or as much as you like. I tap in the morning for a few minutes to clear my energy system, at night which ensures a great sleep, and anytime a negative emotion surfaces during the day. Often I set aside time to work with a colleague on a specific issue.
Just say whatever pops into your mind. Imagine talking to a friend about what you’re feeling e.g. ‘I can’t believe my daughter spoke to me like that, and then use that for your set up statement e.g. “Even though I can’t believe my daughter spoke to me like that, I’m still a beautiful person” and the reminder phrase for each point would be “she spoke to me like that.”
If you’re really upset or angry, just start tapping through the points saying exactly how you feel until you feel calmer. Don’t worry about getting it wrong, you can’t. It will work even if you tap out of sequence or miss certain points.
I love this question. This is a little bit about me: I was raised to be stoic. i.e. ‘put a smile on your dial and get on with it.’ No matter what! ‘Your dog died…he’s gone to heaven, now let’s get busy with some distraction technique :-), ‘the kids at school are being mean: walk away.’ ‘There’s a monster under my bed: monsters don’t live in this neighbourhood, now go to sleep darling.’ And I had really loving parents, they were probably just handling things the same way as their parents did.
The point is, these things stay inside. What I mean by that, is that it is so important to acknowledge the problem, instead of dismissing it. You know that feeling where you’re telling someone how you’re feeling, and they say, ‘you’ll be ok, you’ve just got to……’. Somehow, you feel as though you shouldn’t really feel that way, and you should just get on with it. This starts from a young age.
By ‘addressing the negative’ you acknowledge your feelings, and accept that they are YOURS. You have your reasons for feeling this way!
So, back to the question: focusing on the negative is just focusing on what’s upsetting you. It’s not necessarily negative, it’s just how you’re feeling right then, and accepting it. Mostly we resist uncomfortable feelings. We push them aside. But they have a voice, and they want to be heard.
This is where tapping is so brilliant. It provides an opportunity for accepting what ‘is’ right now, acknowledging your feelings around that, tapping, and then releasing all that energy.
This often happens when I’m working with a client. They say: But I don’t accept myself. I hate my anxiety, and it’s part of me! The thing is we say things to ourselves that we would NEVER say to a friend. I mean, would we stop loving a friend because they were full of anxiety? It is accepting yourself, right here, right now, and supporting yourself while you get where you want to be. I find these phrases useful in this situation:
- I’m still ok
- I’m still a good person
- I’m still a beautiful friend
- I’m still a good Dad/Mum
- I’m still a great kid
- I love myself for trying my best
In my opinion, and from experience, no. It works anyway. Initially I was skeptical about EFT and probably every client I’ve worked with has felt the same way. One session later, with the results flowing, the skepticism melts away.
EFT is one of the most effective methods to delete the pain around past events. After EFT has worked effectively, you will still be able to replay the event in your mind, without the emotional response. EFT has produced remarkable results with trauma. e.g. with PTSD in War Veterans, child abuse victims and victims of crime.
This is how I see it. Let me explain.
Initially a client may present with anger. As ‘anger’ resolves, the aspect of ‘sadness’ arises. Then along comes ‘powerlessness’, followed shortly by: ‘I’m worthless.‘
All of these aspects are like ‘little voices’ in a queue, all waiting to have their say. They have waited a while usually, because as humans, we will do anything to keep ourselves out of pain, including pushing down unpleasant memories.
With EFT we are finally acknowledging our pain, and releasing it, one aspect at a time.
One aspect is resolved, and the next one surfaces.
Imagine the feeling when they’re all cleared!
We are clearing out the old to let in the new!
There may be another ‘little voice’ (ASPECT) lined up who is shyer than the other lot, who surfaces a little while later.You treat them the same as the others, with respect, acknowledging their pain, and releasing it with EFT.
These words could be read many ways.
By ‘quick’, yes EFT can often get rid of a lifelong phobia in one session. e.g. fear of water, (I speak from experience as a therapist, 1 hour to get rid of a 35 year old fear of water.)
Frequently it takes longer: weeks or months. But by comparison with years on a ‘couch’, yes, it’s quick! When I say this, I have the greatest respect for any human being who has chosen a profession solely focused on helping people heal from pain. So, my comments are my beliefs, and not meant to harm anyone, or disrespect their profession.
As for the ‘fix’ bit, we actually don’t need fixing. We’re fine just as we are, right now. I can hear you saying,’no I’m not’, but the thing is, we can either resist what’s happening in our lives, or use where we are as a starting point to launch from. It’s the resistance that get’s in the way. That’s exactly what EFT is all about, tapping out the resistance so we love ourselves, lock stock and barrel, right now, just as we are, full of anxiety or not, and then we can start working on the healing.