Feeling angry? Up in arms about something? Seething at your core?
I have learned over my almost six decades the futility of ‘feeding the beast’.
By this I mean, having a rant about something that you have no intention of doing anything about.
I see posts ad nauseum on Facebook, with people in their indignation sprouting on about some darstadly injustice, perpetrated by governments, organisations, or just people in general. How shocking! How unbelievable! How incredible!
So what do they do next?
Nothing is the usual answer.
It’s our ego minds at play here. The ego says, ‘I’ll report some injustices, I’m important! I have a view on this! Look at me!!’
Think carefully. What you give your energy to feeds that thing. If you wanted true change, you would be imploring people to take action, not AGAINST something, but FOR something. Something that will change the status quo.
Mother Teresa said, ‘Ask me to an Anti-War rally, and I won’t come. Ask me to a Peace rally, and I’l be there.’
This impacted on my life long ago, and I love her for steering my energy in a different direction.
However, today I found myself reverting to how I used to be, where I’d get angry over things that were out of my control.
I visited an 84 year old aunty in hospital. I love her intensely, not only has she been an amazing aunty, but a friend who has accompanied me through my life for 60 years. Her wish today, when she spoke to me, was to transition to the next world. Her body is letting her down and she is in excruciating pain most of the time. She has always been a fighter. But her future holds nothing that she wants.
I have seen people dying before, my mother, my father, and various friends who I have loved. I now recognise when they have decided that it is their time to depart the planet. They look ‘smaller’, their skin looks different, their breathing is different, they have an ‘acceptance’ about them, they are fading from this earth, wanting to be released into the next one. This was my Aunty today.
Anyway, back to the story.
I was in the hallway of the hospital, shamelessly eavesdropping on a conversation that was taking place between my cousin (My Aunt’s daughter) and the ‘aged care specialist’ appointed to my Aunty. This is what I heard.
‘I think we need to address your mother’s depression. What I’m suggesting is that we put your mother on a regime of anti depressants, and in two months, let’s re-asses her situation.’ All due credit to my cousin Robbie, who continued to listen. ‘And I think we need to talk about where she’s going next.’
Well, I knew where my Aunt was going next, but this woman was talking about bricks and mortar. ‘I think she needs to go into high level care.’
I’m not a rude person, but now I wanted to smack this woman. Was she blind, deaf and dumb? She had heard the patients requests over and over to let her die. She had seen the patient, who clearly was not going anywhere, ever again. And she was suggesting anti depressants? I think I’d be feeling a tad depressed if I was about to depart from this earthly life and all the people I love.
I think the Western Medical System’s way of dealing with death is ridiculous. I sat in a room with my mother for a week and watched as her life leaked out of her day in day out, when a simple shot of morphine could have done the trick and saved both her, and all of us kids a lot of excruciating emotional pain. My memories are recent and crystal clear so you can understand that a very large button in me was being pushed today at the hospital.
Anyway, here’s the point of the story. I chose to let go of my anger. My anger wasn’t going to change anything. I had to turn it into love.
As soon as I decided that, I sat beside my Aunty’s bed and held her hand. I channelled all the love I could summons to her. I sent it to her body, I sent it to her heart. After a few minutes she fluttered her eyes open and said, ‘I love you Jule,’ and a tear trickled down her face. I’m so glad I made the choice to let go of that futile anger, so I could focus my energy on where it should have been going. I am so grateful for that moment. Yes. I am happy with that goodbye.
Anger’s not a bad thing, that’s not what I’m saying. You need to acknowledge anger, absolutely. But what you do from that point on is completely within your control. Seethe with rage and waste your precious energy? Or take some steps to change that thing that enrages you so much.
I guess my work with EFT is my small way of educating people about claiming power over their own health, and that’ll do for me right now. As for euthanising patients in the Western Medical system when they’re at death’s door, that’s for someone with a lot more time and energy than I have. So I have to let it go and trust that their will be other beings on the planet to take up that cause.
I’d love your feedback on this post. I’d be interested to hear your views on anger. I’d love to hear if you’ve spent energy on anger when you’re powerless to make that thing change. Do you think anger helps in some ways? I’m wondering if you paid attention to your anger for one day, if you’d let more of it go after reading this? I appreciate you joining the discussion, always!
With love,
- My Go To Remedy When Life’s Tough - March 5, 2015
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Thanks for your comments Caroline! Yes, that quote of Mother Teresa’s speaks volumes doesn’t it. And I share the willies with you about being in the position of someone old and powerless to end their life with dignity. Better make the most of it in the meantime!! 🙂 J x
I loved this post, Julie, and it’s so in tune with my own thinking and work. I believe we really do have the ability to choose how we respond, although it is very important, also, to acknowledge how we are feeling (anger), and not suppress it. That’s why pausing for a moment to be aware of our feelings can be so important. If I acknowledge that I am free to feel anger, somehow that changes my perspective and allows me to make better choices on how I deal with it.
Thanks Imogen for your comments, I really appreciate them. Yes, acknowledging anger is important. My parents generation just buried it. I think there’s something to be said for listening to your feelings, and as you say, choosing your choices from there, J
Dear Julie what a precious and important post. I am sorry about your aunty. Thanks for sharing this vulnerable topic.I think you are right that people put a lot of energy into anger and let it leak out all over the place. Choosing to let go of anger is definitely the teachers path and holding onto it the students. My view is that our world in the old paradigm has been about fueling that low grade anger to keep us stuckin holding patterns. If we believe we are wronged our anger is mighty and righteous and we wont be told what to do, – and yet that is precisely what happens. we become victims and puppets doing the dance of anger. I have had to release so much anger, and still there is more. Thank goodness I am finally able to make the choice most of the time to let go of anger or at least recognize why I am acting it out.
Jen, thank you for your comments. That line, ‘stuck in holding patterns’ is so brilliant. Can I please borrow it for my next post? BTW there’s no need for an interpreter for your words, you do just nicely thank you very much:) Jx
Dear Julie, thank you, and yes borrow away. Lol thanks re interpreter
WOW – what a great story and such an important way to view things! It reminds me of the story of the black and white wolves and how what you feed will grow. Feed anger and resentment and it will grow. I am glad that your Aunt has you in her corner – BLESS!
Thanks Kimberly, and yes, I love that story about the wolves. I have let go of so much anger, you don’t actually realise how much is inside until you start to shed it! Always appreciate your feedback, J x