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Have you ever struggled with whether you should keep going, or just walk away?
How do your perceive yourself?
- Are you one of those ‘brilliant’ people who spend you life living out the quote : ‘Never, ever give up.’
(I want to smack the person who said this:) ) There’s a time and a place to give up.
- Do you start 100 things, and ‘give up’ by default, never finishing anything?
- Do you decide to give up way too early, because of lack of faith in yourself?
- Or are you sheepishly thinking to yourself here,’ I’m one of those people who give up before I even start.’
- Do you know that what you’ve embarked on doesn’t feel ‘right’ anymore, but you can’t give up because you think you have to keep going, even though your heart isn’t in it?
Our ‘ego mind’ drives us to show up a particular way in the external world. The ego mind is like your ‘hard drive’ that runs the show. (You’re the show). It’s your program. And about 90% of the time it’s running off old, irrelevant information, and stories that we’ve made up about who we are and what other people expect from you. Stories that we’ve pieced together by messages we’ve picked up from our parents/siblings/teachers/church/advertising.
So, back to the choices you are making. Are you truly doing what you love? Are you making choices for yourself, or are they driven by what other people expect of you? Or are you stopping yourself from making choices because of old programming? e.g.
- I never give up, I’m strong (mother)
- I always give up, I’m weak (coach)
- It’s wrong not to finish something when you start it (teacher)
- I can’t even start (siblings e.g. ‘who do you think you are’)
- I can’t keep going because I’ll be judged when it’s finished (classmates)
- I’m not good enough, I’m giving up (boss: I’m taking you off this project)
So, let’s take everyone out of the equation. And let’s take all of those messages out of the equation.If there was nothing to lose, what would you be doing? What would you ‘give up’ on? And what would you embark on?
There is no BADGE for continuing on with something in your life if it doesn’t bring you joy. And there is no badge for playing small, and giving up on your dreams. Both of these are forms of ‘giving up’. Who made up that ‘giving up’ rule anyway? Is there a panel in the sky judging you? Who are they? And what do they have to do with your choices?
SOMETIMES IT’S GREAT TO GIVE UP! It’s liberating. We should all do it at least a couple of times in our life!
The thing is, that you get to decide what you trulymadlydeeply want. Not from outward influences, but from YOU. That place within you that knows what you need to be doing in your life.
There are two parts to this: giving up, or changing the route on whatever you are doing right now that doesn’t serve your greater purpose, and secondly, giving up the idea that you can’t do something when you know it is right for you!
Even when you decide to aim towards something, and it stops feeling good, you can always re-route!
Let me liken this to my TOM TOM, my navigation system in my car. I have put in a destination. I have taken a wrong turn, and within a flash, it’s re-routed me. A slightly different route, but the same destination.
OK, So a bit of a reveal here.
I am a ‘dog with a bone’ sort of person, (visualise a terrier with a vice like grip on a bone).I am a tenacious, stubborn, and ‘put everything into a project’ person. Nothing in the past would have ever made me give up on something, once I said I’m going to do it. What would people say?
That has changed.For two reasons.
Firstly, because I have let go of the perception that others would judge me if I didn’t complete something til the bitter end. And secondly, because I trust my inner guidance a lot more these days.
My credo now is, ‘if it doesn’t feel great, then don’t do it.’
Now, I’m not talking about giving up when the going gets tough, or you’re tired, or doubting yourself. Or when you have to learn a whole bunch of stuff in order for you to achieve what you want to achieve and it’s overwhelming. I’m talking about when you embark on something and it has started to feel empty, or wrong. You somehow know it’s not what you should be doing anymore. In other words, I’m not talking about hiccups and challenges in the process, I’m talking about when the end term goal seems somehow unimportant any more.
I’m proud to say I have given up on things many times in recent years.
I had an offline business for 20 years. I loved it until the last few years. I let it go. It was consuming me, I never had time for friends, I never had time for me, and it was taking an incredible toll on my health. Was it painful to let it go? Yes. This business had defined who I was.
I had promised to write a book for a dear friend of mine. I love her. I loved that she wanted to get her message out there. I tried, I really tried, I poured hours into it, but there was this resistance in me, all the way. It didn’t feel right to me. I felt it would keep her stuck. I didn’t tell her that at the time. I just knew it wasn’t right. I also let go of the fact that if this book was supposed to manifest into our world, I wasn’t the only one who could do it. Did I feel bad at the time? Incredibly so. Has the world fallen apart because of this decision? No!
These are just a couple of scenarios in my life, and I’d love to hear from you if you have ‘given up’ and what has happened since. In my experience, it opens up a whole world of new opportunity. Follow your heart, do what you love. If things feel really bad in your heart, stop doing them. If there’s something that you feel compelled to do, same thing, don’t give up on that dream.
I’d love to hear what you’ve given up on! When was a time that you gave up on something you knew wasn’t right? And when did you give up on some belief about yourself, so you could forge ahead? Please comment below, I always love hearing from you!