Do you ever wonder why things have gone wrong in your life. Losing a job, losing a friend, sickness to contend with, family not getting on, dreams not working out?  Do you ever think, ‘I don’t understand this?’

I do! There are many things that I don’t understand. My friends losing their little daughter, my mother fading slowly through Alzheimer’s disease, someone spitting on my daughter as she was walking along the street, because she was gay. Losing friends way too early from cancer, dreams that haven’t worked out.

But this post is not about me. I’m just like everyone else. We’ve all got our stories.

This reflection is more about how to be happy despite all of that, because I truly believe that having a happiness default it is the only way to collectively make a difference to the planet.

Hey, I’m not Pollyanna here. I’ve weeped and I’ve wailed and wished things were different at times.

So why DO Bad things happen to good people?

I don’t think there’s an answer. I just think that life is like a tapestry.  With knots, different bits and pieces woven in, an eclectic mix of colours and texture.  Unexpected things. Tapestries are intricate, and complicated, and  a little untidy at times. Just like life.

However, the model that most of us have grown up with is one of a beautifully sewn tapestry, all perfect, with no missing stitches, all the colours working together, a product that could win first prize at the Easter Show.

But who’s life is like that?

And more importantly, what do you do when your tapestry looks like the cat attacked it and rendered it unrecognisable?

What do you do when the your tapestry gets unravelled?


I’ve jotted down a few thoughts here, which I hope will help you in these moments.  And you might like to tap along to this video after you’ve read these:

Here we go, and please note, that its important to ‘clean out the wound’ before you start ‘putting ointment on it’ and healing it. You do this by acknowledging your feelings first, before anything.

  1. Let yourself be angry, afraid, and any other feeling you may have around what is happening and acknowledge that you’re allowed these feelings!
  2. Love yourself, no matter what. No matter where you’re up to in your life
  3. Forgive yourself or anyone else who may have contributed to the situation
  4. Surround yourself with loving people
  5. Don’t ‘feed the beast’, i.e. don’t keep talking about how bad everything is with everyone
  6. Set you focus instead on what the future could look like
  7. Do things that make you happy. Even if you’re filled with sorrow, start with a tiny thing, e.g. sitting in the sun having a cup of tea, and listening to the birds. Visit someone that LOVES you, and will spoil you, and listen to you and not try to fix you 🙂
  8. Remember all that you have right now
  9. Remember that old saying : ‘This too shall pass’
  10. Trust that there is a far greater ‘weaver’ of the tapestry at work, even though we may not understand it
  11. Know that we’re all in this together, and our ‘tapestry’ is just part of one big eiderdown
  12. We don’t have to go it alone – if you’ve lost your grip, there’s always someone to lend you some of theirs

These are just a few tools in my TMDH toolkit, they’ve worked for me!  I’d love to hear if you’ve got some too.  I love connecting with you.

Always here to help, 

Julie Zommers, Happiness Warrior





‘My life has been a tapestry of rich and royal hue

An everlasting vision of the ever changing view

A wondrous woven magic in bits of blue and gold

A tapestry to feel and see, impossible to hold’

Carole King



About Julie Zommers

Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) and Matrix Re-imprinting Transformational Practitioner, Workshop Presenter & Published Author.
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